Emotions: This Too Shall Pass

Perhaps this perspective comes from age or the thousands of stories I have listened to over the years from clients, friends, and family, but what I know is “this too shall pass.” It was Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, who is initially credited with understanding this principle. He said, “Everything changes and nothing stands still.” Change truly is the only constant in the world and what I have seen from this fact is that it can bring comfort and sadness.

When someone is in grief or sadness, we may offer the sentiment of time shifting the depth of loss. It is not to minimize someone’s emotional state, but it is often extended as a reminder that this moment is temporary. We may continue to carry the loss or the sadness, grief or hurt, but our reaction to it will change in the next and following moments, days, months and years.

I remember the first time I came to understand how an emotional state can feel all consuming and can erase our understanding of anything that came before it or the possibility of anything after it. I had a dear friend in my youth who experienced huge losses. Prior to the losses, this friend had a terrific sense of humor. He was light and loved to make people laugh. After the losses, this part of him disappeared and he talked of a despair that overtook his life. He was severely depressed and at times had no memory of life being light. It was like nothing had existed before this depression and grief. It was also hard for him to imagine there being anything other than this grief and sadness. At the time while I was witnessing his process, I remember thinking and perhaps saying, “this too shall pass.” I knew that time would move us forward. I knew that the losses he was dealing with would always mark him, but that his life would continue to progress. It was the first time I remember being struck with the idea that nothing lasts forever. The lightness he exuded had faded temporarily and had been replaced with darkness, but I knew the darkness would move as well. I’m happy to report this dear friend found his lightness again and makes people laugh regularly to this day.

It was such a poignant example in my life of everything changing, even things you think are foundational. Sometimes the changes are welcomed especially when we are dealing with an uncomfortable emotion or experience, but other times we resist the changing state of emotion. The happiness of being on vacation or the joy of belly laughing with a dear friend, these are the emotional states we want to hold on to. Sometimes it is difficult to know that the good emotions pass as quickly as the tougher emotional states. The lesson when dealing with emotions is to know that they will shift with our thoughts, various experiences, and moments in time. It is part of the human adventure to experience a range of emotions and know, this too shall pass.