Cycles: The Guest House
The beginning of a new year is often a time of rituals, new starts, new habit establishment and change. It’s a great time to tune back in to maintaining balanced and nourished mental health. One of the ways to do this is to understand the natural flow of emotional states.
As a therapist, I often help clients identify and name their various emotional states when unraveling problems in their lives. Are they “in” anger, sadness, hurt, disappointed, or shock? When we identify the emotion, I describe to them the difference between being angry and being “in” an angry state. This is an important distinction because emotional experiences are fluid. We never live in one emotional state consistently. We are varied and changing. We can experience joy and sadness on the very same day, sometimes in the very same moment. Some of us have emotions that are more erratic or fluctuating, but all of us move through various emotions every day.
It is important to be aware of the emotional swing from state to state in order to give the emotional state perspective when things are intense. Nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass. These are important messages to hold on to when we are in states of grief, anger, hurt and disappointment. The concept of change is also a good reminder when we are in states of joy and excitement. When we know that all is temporary we are able to appreciate it more, perhaps be more mindful of the moment we are in.
The following poem, by Rumi, a 13th century poet, is often used in mindfulness practices. It is a wonderful reminder to allow the presence of each state of being to come into your world and allow it to flow out of your experience as well. I hope for all of you that you can utilize this poem throughout the year on your journey of balanced mental health.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
— Jellaludin Rumi,
translation by Coleman Barks