Loneliness: The Company of One
Three Dog Night sings, “One is the loneliest number,” and I think they are giving “one” a bad spin. Or perhaps not drawing attention to all the other aspects of “one.” Actually, I think the idea that being alone equals loneliness is an assumption most of our society holds. One of my greatest personal journeys was recognizing the beauty of my own company.
I am a person who loves people. I greatly enjoy socializing and interaction. Talking with others is something that often fuels me. Yet I have found that I greatly enjoy my alone time as well. Sitting quietly or doing things by myself has offered self reflecting insights and rejuvenation just as much as social interaction. It wasn’t always an easy journey toward enjoying my own company, but with time and concentration on a few areas, it has been incredibly worthwhile.
How do you increase your comfort about being alone? Here are the areas of focus that helped me in my exploration.
Quiet your internal critic - Stop judging yourself for being alone or doing things by yourself. Stop worrying what others think about you being alone as well. No one is thinking or criticizing you if you go out to dinner, go see a movie, travel, hike or get coffee alone. And if they are judging you, they aren’t worth your time anyway. Take yourself out for a date and don’t let the voices in your head stop you from enjoying the experience!
Pay attention to your health - When we are alone it is a great time to get in touch with ourselves physically. Put energy and effort into what you eat and drink. Take stock of your exercise routine. Perhaps add in a stretching or yoga routine. You are in sole control of your body and your health. Take the time to pay attention to what your body is revealing to you!
Get outside - As I write this, I’m glancing out the window at the sunshine amidst the clouds. Get yourself outside and appreciate the beauty of the world around you. There is wonder and amazement in nature, fresh air, and sunshine or even rain for that matter! Allow yourself to experience the grandiosity of the world that surrounds you and you will feel less alone.
Pick a hobby - Find something you enjoy doing. It can be simple or complex. Puzzles, reading, listening to music, playing an instrument, learning a foreign language, volunteering, cooking, knitting, playing a sport, hiking, collecting something…the lists goes on and on. There are endless possibilities to bring joy into your life when you find something you want to spend your energy doing.
All of these steps will increase your enjoyment of your time with just you. And when you enjoy your own company, you are never alone.