Bravery: Learning from the Ukrainians

I am mesmerized by the bravery of the Ukrainian citizens. It is astonishing to witness regular people with no prior military experience learning how to shoot guns and make Molotov cocktails. I talk with friends and family asking, as well as questioning, “I don’t think I would be as brave. Would you?” The Ukrainians’ action has inspired me to take a deep dive into bravery.

Many quotes say bravery is the absence of fear, but I don’t believe that to be true especially as I watch the Ukrainians. What I see in their faces and hear in their stories is that bravery is the action in face of fear, knowing the odds are against them and moving forward anyway. It is clear many Ukrainian citizens don’t feel they have any other option. They love their country, their community, and their home. So much so they take up arms against a bully absolutely risking their life. Nelson Mandela said, “I learned that courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” We are seeing this every day as this country of people conquer fear and it is so inspirational.

Research on bravery explains there are three types of bravery: physical, moral, and mental. Physical bravery requires overcoming fear of bodily injury or death. Moral bravery happens as individuals act on their beliefs in the face of consequences. Mental bravery presents when people overcome their everyday fears and anxieties. Studies have also shown acting with bravery increases resiliency and healing, even reducing post-traumatic stress symptomatology.

But how does one become more brave? 

Situations, Empathy, and Modeling

There is no denying, situational demands help to push the action of bravery. If your town was invaded or you were witnessing an atrocity or facing danger, these may be situations in which you would be called into action. We’ve heard many stories of situational factors rousing bravery from the unassuming. 

There are two other components that increase bravery deserving of attention: empathy and modeling. I call attention to these two elements because we can all increase our ability to be empathetic and we can model bravery which has powerful ripple effects.

I watched an interview of a retired US military man who has been living in the Ukraine for the past three years. He has chosen to take up arms to support the Ukraine despite him saying in the interview he never wanted to fight in war again. The reporter asked him why he didn’t just leave the country, retreat to his own homeland and this Afghanistan war veteran said he couldn’t imagine leaving his new friends. With tears in his eyes, he explained he knew what they were about to experience.

Empathy is the ability to emotionally connect with how someone else is experiencing a situation. It is not feeling sorry for them or feeling pain for them, but rather imagining and even asking what their emotional experience is of the situation. It is conjuring up that shared emotional understanding even when you don’t have the actual experience of the situation. By truly listening to one another’s experience, hearing their stories, and asking thoughtful questions we can increase our empathetic understanding. While many of us won’t be directly in this fight, we can increase our empathy for the Ukrainian people.  

Modeling has shown to have great impact on bravery. When soldiers witness brave leaders, their bravery increases. We see this in children all the time as they model our positive and negative behaviors. When we model our own bravery, courage, and kindness to people in our family and community, we all benefit. There is the immediate benefit of the action and the ripple effect for anyone witnessing this modeling. The Ukrainians, and certainly their President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, are currently our strongest models of bravery. I hope the ripple effects will never be lost. 

Here are three reputable organizations to donate to in the name of the Ukrainian people: 

Doctors Without Borders, an organization that provides medical care during humanitarian crises. They work with local volunteers, organizations, health care professionals, and authorities to help people travel to health care facilities and access prescribed medications.

Voices of Children, an organization that provides no-cost psychological support to Ukrainian children who are impacted by armed conflicts. Their services include art therapy, traveling psychologists who specialize in trauma, and assistance programs for individual families.

International Rescue Committee, helps those impacted by humanitarian crises and is currently collecting financial donations that will go toward supporting resources and aid to displaced families. The organization specializes in helping refugees around the world who have been forced from their homes.