Kindness: Reframing Contagion
I feel like I know more than I’ve ever wanted to know about contagion. Over the last couple of years we have all heard and learned a lot about how disease spreads. I, like many of you, feel done with things that spread, but then as I was reading the book “Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World,” by Dr. Vivek Murthy, I was inspired. In this book Dr. Murthy, who is our current Surgeon General of the US, calls attention to an epidemic of loneliness in our current culture and offers some examples of redirecting our energy toward coming together, supporting one another, and creating a culture of community and kindness. Reading this book, I felt optimistic about the idea of kindness as a contagious energy and curious to understand more about the science behind “catching kindness.”
Turns out there have been many research papers written, studies conducted, and even an institute, the UCLA Bedari Kindness Institute, dedicated to research on kindness. Guess what? Kindness is scientifically proven to be contagious!
After reading some of the research studies, one of the biggest themes is witnessing what the researchers call “prosocial behavior” begets more prosocial behavior. Prosocial behavior is the act of kindness. When someone observes a prosocial act, there is an increase in probability they will then also act in a prosocial engagement. It doesn’t seem to matter if we see the act in person or through video. The witnessed act of kindness also doesn’t necessarily create an exact mimicking. Basically you could see someone in person help an elderly person across the street or you could be watching a video in which you witness a beach clean-up and both could inspire you to give more compliments that day to your loved ones. The bottom line is acts of kindness, big and little, create ripple effects in our communities.
With this information, I encourage you to engage in a 7-day Kindness Challenge. The rules are simple:
Only take this challenge, if you emotionally have the space for it. If you currently feel overwhelmed in your life, rather than putting one more thing on your list, skip this challenge or make YOU the focus of this 7-day Kindness Challenge. Perhaps you need your own kindness more than anyone else.
Do a different act of kindness each day. Meaning don’t buy coffee for the person behind you in line for each of the seven days.
Push yourself out of your comfort zone. So if you always compliment people, try a different act of kindness like helping your neighbor take in their garbage cans.
Try this for a week and notice how it feels. If you love it, rinse and repeat. If you don’t dig it, you’ve done it once and who knows how you have added to the ripples of kindness around you. Allow your creativity to flow with how you can spread kindness. Here are some suggestions to get your mind percolating:
Acknowledge people who deserve praise
When shopping, pick up things that have fallen off shelves or hangers
Let someone checkout ahead of you
Feed an expired parking meter
Write a love note to your partner
Buy a coffee or a meal for someone
Give a compliment
Reach out to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while
Buy someone flowers
Pick up garbage
Smile at people
Use your blinker
Thank a teacher, nurse, veteran or emergency responder
Have fun with it and let kindness spread!