Change: The Complexity of the Human Spirit
I often look into my clients’ eyes after they ask, “Can people really change?” and see yearning and defeat. Frequently, this question concerns a partner and comes after many tries at better communication, conversations, and maybe even couple’s therapy. My answer is usually it depends. It’s a highly complex question.
Funny enough, I was struck recently by the change of two very visual Olympic figures. If you’ve paid attention to the Olympics this year, you can’t miss Snoop Dogg, who has been called an ambassador of happiness and preaches his religion of love. The other figure is Flavor Flav, who wasn’t as far-reaching, but undoubtedly powerful in his presence and dedication to the US Women’s Water Polo team. Let me explain.
Snoop Dogg
When I talk to people about Snoop at the Olympics, most wonder how and why he became the overarching ambassador for the USA at the Paris Olympics. Present at everything from dressage and skateboarding to swimming and gymnastics, his commentating on badminton, and swimming with Michael Phelps, has been a joy to watch. Of course, there is the commercial element that Snoop will be part of The Voice this Fall, which airs on NBC, the same network airing the Olympics, and is part of why he is there. But more fascinating to me is the pull this man has and the transformation he has made throughout his notable career.
Snoop was one of the ultimate gangster rap icons in the 90’s. He was tried and acquitted of murder charges and convicted of cocaine and gun possession. His early rap music was misogynistic and angry. Now, he preaches love, happiness, and joy. He is a proud father and grandfather. He coaches youth football and believes in the power of affirmations. What happened, and how did he change?
I don’t know this man personally, but I can determine from his interviews that he embodies a critical element in change: introspection. Snoop is deeply reflective at this point in his life. He reflects on his role as a father, grandfather, icon, black man, and role model. He points to faith and spirituality that call him to reflect, and people who call on him to take ownership of his behavior, namely his mother, wife, and mentors like Quincy Jones. He listens to the wisdom of others, takes feedback, and contemplates. These are the qualities of someone open to change.
Flavor Flav
Flavor Flav, “Flav,” as he is often called, refers to himself as the ultimate hype man and considers it an area of expertise. He has applied that expertise to the US Women’s Water Polo team, becoming their biggest cheerleader and benefactor. He responded to an Instagram post the team captain put forward early this year asking for financial support. He committed to a five-year sponsorship deal with the team and promised to elevate the team's visibility with his hype expertise.
If you aren’t familiar with him, he is a founding member of Public Enemy, one of the most influential hip-hop and politically charged music groups of the late ’80s and early ’90s. Flav has an extensive legal record, including jail time for domestic violence, an attempted murder charge, and a handful of minor things like outstanding parking tickets. He also has a long history of addiction, most notably his addiction to crack cocaine. How does this man become the voice of support and encouragement to a group of young women athletes?
Like Snoop, Flav’s change was due to personal accountability and reflection. Flav has been clean of crack cocaine for more than 15 years and four years of sobriety from cigarettes and alcohol. He openly talks about his struggles with addiction and how he is now filled with gratitude, cherishing his family, and committed to doing good in the world. He spreads optimism everywhere he goes.
So, is change possible? Absolutely! These men are examples of human complexity. We can be deeply struggling and then rise, but we must be open, reflective, introspective, and seeking hope.