Compassion: Find Common Ground
Picture taken by Kate Nixon in Asheville, NC
I was going to write about the nervous system this month and all the wonders of how it responds to neuroception, but you will have to wait for that thrilling topic. I can’t stop thinking about the people reeling from Hurricane Helene’s destruction. Of course, part of the reason I’m consumed with this devastation is because my Mom and sisters live in Asheville, NC. This is a town I have visited many times. I have considered this town and community a home away from home. This is a town and a people who often talked about the protective, beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains that create a tea-cup-like shelter from big storms. And now, this is yet another town bowled over by a natural disaster.
While climate change, environmental awareness, and disaster preparedness are essential topics, I do not want to focus on them for a psychology-based blog. Instead, I want to focus on the one solace I have every time a natural disaster happens: compassion. The courage, generosity, kindness, and, again, compassion people find in the face of crisis is miraculous. It is the best of humanity.
To quote Mr. Rogers, “When I was a boy, and I would see scary things in the news,” Rogers said to his television neighbors, “my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” In the aftermath of a natural disaster, the helpers are everywhere. Helping hands come from all sides of political, social, economic, geographic, and cultural spectrums. If your neighbor is a Democrat and you are a Republican, but you are both in need of chainsawing a downed tree to travel down your street, you are going to work together to accomplish this goal. Often, the things that divide us, lessen when we look and need to find common ground.
I’m highlighting the ingredient of compassion in the human spirit because it is always there, but we get lazy with it. We understandably get caught up in the minutiae of the day, our struggles, our frustrations, and our joys. However, being compassionate to others daily is an admirable and consequential goal. I’m so thankful we see the best in humanity arrive at our most dire moments, but what would our world be like if we showcased it daily?
As humans, we long for safety and connection; these are some of our most fundamental needs. In a world where we greet one another with compassion daily, our safety with one another and our sense of connection would grow immeasurably.
What is compassion?
Compassion originates from the Latin root “compati,” meaning “suffer with.” Compassion is a feeling motivated by seeing someone else’s pain that drives an action to help relieve their suffering.
How do you embody compassion daily?
Many small daily acts can increase your compassion, such as expressing gratitude, checking in with loved ones, seeking commonality rather than highlighting differences, encouraging others, and offering and lending a helping hand. Indispensable components of increasing compassion are asking, listening, and imagining. We genuinely have no idea what is happening in anyone else experience unless we ask, listen, and then imagine. Whether the question is “How are you,” “How is this experience for you,” “What do you need,” or “What is the hardest part,’ the open-ended question begins the bridge to compassion. Then, listen with both your ears and with your whole body present. Take in their experience. After you listen, imagine the emotional repercussions of their experience. Find common understanding and common ground in their story, not as a comparison, but as an aligning mechanism. Move forward from this understanding. Once you have done these steps, you will be in compassion.
I hope we can all increase our daily compassion acts and remember to greet one another from this heart-felt lens.