Frameworks: Tools for the Ways We Think

Recently, I’ve had some clients reflect ways I’ve illuminated patterns in their thinking that were beneficial to them so I thought I would share these tools more generally. 

First, I want to explain what I mean when I reference a framework as I use this terminology a lot in session. When I am utilizing the term framework, I am referring to the way in which someone is holding or seeing information, their unique perspective in a sense. A therapeutic framework is synonymous to the framework of a house, both have a general plan and structure in which to build around. Our frameworks are often impacted by our past experiences, cultural, social and financial influences, as well as family of origin dynamics. The following questions are all tools to help tweak frameworks that have become harmful or unstable.   

Is it helpful?

Many times I will have clients report disturbing ideas, future contemplations, and even unanswerable questions to which I help them determine if their line of thinking is helpful. Is it helpful to plan for a disaster? Usually the answer is yes. Is it helpful to think about that disaster every day even though you have already done everything you can do to prepare for it? No, probably not. When we find that our line of thought within our framework is not helpful, we must shift our perspective. It is important to have agency and control over what we can control, in this scenario preparing a “go” bag in the case of disaster. But after a certain point of planning, we must recognize our lack of control and release the rumination because it is no longer helpful.  

What evidence do you have to prove your thought?

Another concept often reported in therapy is assumptions about what someone else is thinking or doing. “I’m sure my friend is mad at me,” “My teacher clearly hates me,” and “My spouse is always disappointed in me,” are examples of ways people assume the actions of others. To these assumptions I will often ask, “What evidence do you have to support your ideas?” If we look at our thoughts through a more scientific perspective what is our data to support our hypothesis? If we have data to support our ideas, then we can create a plan to address the issues. If we have no data to support our assumptions, then we really must wonder about our original impressions. Perhaps our assumptions are something we created in our own head, and maybe our thoughts are more based on our own fear, rather than what is really happening. 

What outcome do you want?

Sometimes we face a situation we dread, don’t look forward to, or fulfill out of obligation rather than joy. If possible, I try to have clients re-frame their perspective on these situations in order to soften the resistance. Rather than focusing on the action, focus on the intended outcome. Here’s an example: Even though I have the kindest dentist in the world, I dread going to the dentist. So I think about the outcome I want. I want healthy teeth so going in for check ups allows that to happen. This is true for exercise as well. I want a healthy body and good mental health so I commit myself to exercise most mornings. The next time you are facing resistance to a task, allow yourself to focus on the intended outcome rather than the task itself.