Busy-ness: What hides behind busy-ness?

I believe people are busy. I believe many of us have so many things on our plate it is sometimes hard to balance them all. I believe busy-ness can create the feeling of just surviving, not thriving. AND, I want to ponder a different aspect of busy-ness. Do we use busy-ness as a defense to hide from things we do not want to address or look at?

Have you ever heard from someone, “I meant to respond, but was just so busy,” or “It’s not my best effort because I didn’t have the time to dedicate to it,” or “I can’t talk about it now because I’m so busy”? I’m not proposing people lie about being busy. Again, I believe people are busy, but I think saying we are busy has become an acceptable way to get out of giving people and things our best effort, our most focused effort. In a world of multi-tasking and ever increasing demands to keep up with ever developing expectations, we have retreated behind the wall of busy-ness.

So perhaps it is important to look at when we use that defense. When do you notice yourself saying you are “too busy?" Does it happen with certain people or around certain tasks and events? What is the pattern to you using this excuse? Does it happen when certain subjects are approached? In recognizing when the excuse comes up, it may point to people, subjects or events that create some resistance for you or have dropped down on your list of priorities.

Next, you might want to look at the why. If you are recognizing resistance as the pattern, then what is the resistance about? For example, you are “too busy” to exercise. Perhaps you are resistant to exercise. Why are you resistant to exercise? The effort, sweat, discomfort and/or you don’t make yourself and your health a priority. When we address the resistance, it often loses power in the face of the outcome. For instance acknowledging, “Yes, I’m going to be uncomfortable during the exercise,” but then recognizing the value of the outcome, “I know it’s important to make myself and my long term health a priority.”

If when looking at the why of your “too busy” excuse, you note a pattern of things that have fallen off your priority list, it may be important to re-evaluate your priority list. Sometimes we forget that we have a choice. If you find that you are always too busy to connect with friends that are meaningful people in your life and bring you joy, then it’s important to look at your priorities. If you and your partner seem like passing ships in the night, then it’s important to look at your priorities. If your children complain that you are always working, it’s important to look at your priorities. We have very little that we control in this world, but we do control our decisions. We have the power to make choices that allow what is important to us to take priority. Perhaps in the midst of being “too busy” it is important to evaluate where and with whom we want to put our time and energy.

I know many of us are busy, but what I am suggesting is to explore and be conscious about when and how we utilize our busy ways of being as an excuse. You may be surprised at what you find.