Self Care: A Prayer of Loving Kindness
As a therapist, I talk to all my clients about self care. I encourage them to take time outs, take a walk, make themselves tea, listen to music that elevates their spirit, talk with loved ones, play with a pet, etc. These are all practical and applicable ways to take care of ourselves. I’ve attached a handout on self care that I have utilized with clients which is a helpful reminder and something you could put on your refrigerator to reference.
What I want to explore in this writing is a more esoteric, although equally important type of self care. A prayer of loving kindness. This is a Buddhist practice, a tenant of Buddhist beliefs. It is a meditation that sets the intention of holding a loving heart towards self and others. It is the planting of seeds for self and others to flourish in the light of love
.I recently read “Loving-Kindess: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness,” by Sharon Salzberg. I think she does an excellent job describing the history, purpose, benefits and ways in which we can practice this meditation. I highly recommend her book for a deeper understanding of this practice. In a very cursory description, the meditation is a blessing that you hold in your mind and your heart while you sit in silence offering hope to oneself, loved ones, and even to foes.
Here is an example of the blessing:
May you be safe
May you be happy
May you know health
May you live with ease
One of the beauties of this meditation is that it is not strict in exact words, but more a concept of four ideas. The first is the wish for you and all beings to live safe from danger, torment, and violence. This speaks to the basic layer of survival, which is safety. If we do not live in a safe environment, nothing else can be addressed because we are in a constant state of survival. The second concept expresses the need for good mental health. It is a prayer for calm and peace in the mind, perhaps even happiness or mental freedom from worries or intrusive thoughts. A prayer for physical well being is the third concept, one in which the body is free from physical pain and is healed. This element also includes the idea of being at peace in one’s body or even in harmony with our body. The last phrase voices hope for the way in which we live daily. It offers the desire that we live with grace, ease and freedom from daily struggles. It is important when practicing loving-kindness that you create four stanzas that resonate with you. Four wishes that you can repeat in your mind and heart for yourself, loved ones and even adversaries.
Buddhism, similarly to cognitive therapy, believes that our mind is a powerful tool in the way we experience the world. Meditating on positive thoughts may not change your immediate circumstances, but it has been proven that hatred cannot exist with loving kindness in your heart. This is vital in terms of loving and caring for ourselves as well as the community and world we live in. It feels that as we approach our country’s election and move toward healing the chasm, no matter who gets elected, it would behoove us all to hold loving kindness in our hearts.
